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Post by nonameapparent on Feb 6, 2004 8:51:53 GMT -5
Welcome, welcome Disciple Eldritch Knight of The Cult of Bad Excuses. Due to a mysterious incident though, that will be revealed, you are only listed as bOb in our membercard index. Which is currently believed to be hold ransom by a zo sloth, that has demanded a sofa and coffee enough for a year. The mysterious incident was as follow: our mexican secretary Chiquita(like the bananas) had just returned, from a trip to visit her family in Mexico. With her she brought a mayan idol, that mindbogglingly enough had the ability to change "things". I guess you figure the rest out yourself...
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Post by LadyWinterWolf on Feb 20, 2004 4:36:24 GMT -5
1 - the alarm didn't go off. 2 - the other guy didn't signal before turning. 3 - my pen ran out of ink. 4 - no one told me. 5 - everyone else is doing it.
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Post by nonameapparent on Mar 6, 2004 17:50:53 GMT -5
With a minor delay, cult leaders are busy people, I welcome you Disciple Ladywinterwolf of The Cult of Bad Excuses. As your first assignment you are to scavenge the remains of the secret, hidden and officially non-existing Laboratory For Neutralization Of Good Excuses. One of our young scientists Holly Grunt, a nice woman with the sexappeal of a goat, accidently mixed sand and water. Which, as we all know, creates fire in large quantities, sort of like napalm but abit worse and impossible to put out. The result was that the laboratory burned to the ground and all was destroyed except for a little, discret and top-secret, sign which says "better to go out with a bang than to fade away". You must retrieve this sign at all costs. We can`t let this valurable tool of war fall into the hands of T.C.O.G.E, the root of all that is good and pleasant.
So be brave, Disciple LadyWinterWolf and know that The Cult of Bad Excuses is betting on you as a winner.
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Post by LadyWinterWolf on Mar 7, 2004 9:31:35 GMT -5
Shouldn't that be, "it's better to burn out, than fade away"?
Nevermind, don't worry sir, with my trusty jar of creamy peanut butter....this assignment will be a smooth operation. *Salutes Oblivion and heads off to the burned down lab, but suddenly turns to Oblivion and asks, Ummmm.....which way do I go?
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Post by nonameapparent on Mar 7, 2004 10:56:09 GMT -5
*stands with LadyWinterWolf`s purse but quicking hides it behind my back as she turns. And with a booming, and somewhat metallic, voice I say*
Just follow your nose my child and when you pass a giant sculpture of a squirrel with leprosy, you`re on your way.
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Post by Stone on Mar 10, 2004 11:04:23 GMT -5
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Post by Sharess on Mar 19, 2004 23:15:41 GMT -5
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Post by RowanMoonWynd on Mar 20, 2004 13:55:36 GMT -5
I got lost trying to find the place. The dog knocked the coolaid off the table and stained the carpet. I didn't get to the phone before it stopped ringing. The laundry detergent fell into the washing machine. I didn't know there was someone standing behind me.
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Post by nonameapparent on Mar 21, 2004 15:42:43 GMT -5
So the lovely RowanMoonWynd has chose to join our ranks. Can`t say I`m surprised, seeing as how The Cult of Bad Excuses is the only cult, who offers an imaginary hat as a member bonus. Well to the ritual: Welcome Disciple RowanMoonWynd of The Cult of Bad Excuses. Your first assignment is to do propag..I mean advertising for The Cult of etc etc. You will be doing this by travelling to Italy, bringing with you a gigantic maroon-colored banner. Saying "Life is too short for good excuses". When you have arrived in Italy, you must travel to the town of Pisa, where the famous Leaning Tower of Pisa stands. You`re objective is to infiltrate the tower, bribe the security guard with a calzone if necessary. When you have infiltrated the tower, you must hang the banner from the top. You must maintain control for at min. an hour so that our message has been shown on all major satellite channels. We have confidence in you Disciple RowanMoonWynd, dont let us down...yeah and grab one of those TCOBE badges on youre way out, just in case.
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Post by RowanMoonWynd on Mar 21, 2004 18:23:11 GMT -5
*Rowan salutes our fearless leader!*
"Aye Sir, I shall make you proud!"
*Heads towards airport to catch plane to Italy, carefully protecting the precious banner.*
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Post by Sight on Mar 23, 2004 21:42:02 GMT -5
-I forgot my crown in the toilet and I can't make royal decrees without it. -My left foot was attacked by gophers so I couldn't make it. -I was being brutalized in the crotch, yet again. -Rowan told me not to! -I have a special illness that can not be detected, cured or transmitted and it kept me from doing what I was supposed to.
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Post by nonameapparent on Mar 24, 2004 15:23:14 GMT -5
we have a king!, we have a king!*jumping ecstatic in the air, then a second later deadly serious*. Welcome Disciple King Sight of Spamland of The Cult of Bad Excuses. Your first assignment is to save your subjects and introduce them to the only true cult. The Cult of Bad Excuses. Also hunt down, torture, mutilate and otherwise "harm" the blasphmic dogs of the cult of what I have no intention of saying. I have no doubts in your capabilities King Sight of Spamland. I thrust I will have your report in a short while.
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Post by EK - Shadow of Death on Mar 24, 2004 16:50:01 GMT -5
I would love to go to the Mayan jungles and get to the bottom of the mystery, but I had some monkey trouble, my airline ticket expired, my passport expired, and my phone unplugged itself, preventing me from getting the refund.
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Post by Little Blue Dragon on Mar 26, 2004 6:46:37 GMT -5
1 - Its not big enough 2 - I can't read minds 3 - Look if I had wings I'd fly would 4 - but there might be monsters down there 5 - if i do that evil minions of the Spam Gods will eat out my eyes
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Post by Sight on Mar 27, 2004 10:04:31 GMT -5
Bloop.
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