Post by Thisby on Dec 28, 2003 10:51:23 GMT -5
Doodle Fairy stood in front of his bedroom mirror, flexing his muscles imposingly. Today he was 18. Today, by tradition, he was an adult. And today (well, ok technically tonight) he was going to run away and become an adventurer!! Out on his own, his sword in his sheath, his bow ready, kicking major dragon ass and saving hot babes from the evil wizards clutches!!! He grinned, hacking his imaginary sword into the dragon. Parry to the left, parry to the right, SWIPE!!! He was almost dead!! GO DOODLE!!! Just one more whack… the eye, Doodle, the eye!!! He made a dramatic thrust, in desperation to poke the beasts eye out… He’d done it! Now just on-
“Oh Doodle, Doodle you saved me!! How can I ever repay you??” The servant girl laughed mockingly, stopping Doodle dead in his tracks. He blushed, quickly retaining his normal posture.
“Shut the hell up. AND DON’T CALL ME DOODLE!” Doodle was such a silly name. He hated it! Not in the least a name for a famous adventurer…
Jemby scowled. “The Mistress wants to know what you’d like for your birthday supper…Doodle!” she giggled.
“Don’t call me that, you ugly servant!”
“Well what ELSE am I supposed to call you?? Sir Fairy?” She didn’t even bother stifling her giggles.
“Oh shut up. Tell my mother that I would like… Chicken. Chicken and lots of breads.”
He would need bread to fill him on his adventure, and he happened to like chicken.
“Lots of breads, huh? Well whatever.”
The day went by pretty much the same. His older brothers gave him a hard time, his younger siblings annoyed him. Being stuck in the middle with 4 siblings on either side was never a good thing, although it had gotten better now that the older ones were gone away most of the time. Unfortunately, due to the occasion they were all here at the château to wish their dear brother a happy 18th birthday, as well as trip him and give him a few titty twisters.
“So, Doodle what exactly ARE you planning on doing with your life?” Asked his brother Jon at dinner. Jon himself ran his own printing business.
“Oh… I don’t know.” If he admitted what he REALLY wanted to do, well everyone would laugh at him!!
“You don’t KNOW? What, are you planning on living with Mum all your life?” Even his 5 year old brother Thomas giggled. But Doodle just grinned slyly. They would all find out soon enough.
“Actually, if it was alright with Mum, I’d love to!” Giggles arose, but they were nervous ones, as that hadn’t been the reaction anyone had expected. Angry, sure. I mean, it was no secret that Doodle was a total over sensitive jerk. But serious?
“Aren’t you planning on getting married, dear?” prompted his Mother. She certainly didn’t want him around the house all her life!
“Ha, yeah right. Who’d marry Doodle?” fat Derek took a stab at the meat, dragging it to his plate.
“Naw Mum. I’m not interested in that sort of thing.” His mother just gave him an odd look, and went quickly back to eating. The rest roared with laughter. Doodle didn’t care what they thought of him anymore. He’d be gone by morning.
After what seemed like an overly long dinner, he had snuck off with as much bread as possible, packing it into a bag. He couldn’t take much, he knew, as he would have to buy quite a lot of supplies next morning. He could hardly believe it… in just moments, he’d be out the window, out of this hell hole, and out into LIFE!!!
And so, with his mouth grinning wide, he opened his window, and made his way out into the night. He planned on making it to Athkatla by mid-day tomorrow, and hopefully to Crimmor by morning, if he traveled all night…
“Crimmor…. Finally…” It was 8 am, and Doodle had been up all night. Opening his weary eyes, he took a good look at the town.
“Hey mister,” he said to a man walking past, “I’m a *Adventurer* and I was wondering…. Where exactly is the weapon smith in your fair city, Crimmor??”
“My names not Crimmor. Its Joek.” He seemed annoyed.
“Alright JOEK, I was referring to the name of your *TOWN*, not you.” What a dolt.
“What are you talking about, boy? Crimmors up that way, North of Purskul. This here is Raykton.”
“WHAT??!! You gotta be kidding!”
“Didn’t you notice passing over the River Esmel? Pretty big bridge…”
“No… it was dark…”
“Well if I were you I’d be looking for the inn, not the Smithy.” And with that he turned to go on with his business, leaving Doodle to gawk in amazement. Dangit! How stupid could he- whoa! Look at THAT chick!!
Doodle almost swooned. What a babe! Doodle could hardly help himself.
“Hey honey. Ya need a hand from mister Doodle D. Fairy??”
“Yeah right. Get out of my way, you wuss-ass.”
“OOOhhhh tough one!!”
“You bet I am.”
“You wanna sho- OWWWWWwwwwwww!!! DAMN IT, WOMEN!!!” before Doodle could finish his one liner, he was down on his knees, clutching his groin in pain. He could only watch as the dame took off with his entire bag of supplies.
“That *WASN’T* what I was talking about, you…you…”
“Damn it.” He repeated, cuddling up to a nearby tree. Stupid biotch. Meh. He lay there, sulking. He had gone in the wrong direction. His feet were tired. HE was tiered. His nether regions were swollen, his supplies stolen, he had almost no money left… and he felt sick. Just sick. He was never going to make it as a adventurer- he might as well just go home now… but he was much too tired… *yawn* Stupid chick. Stupid adventuring…
“Hey you!!”
“Who are you?”
“He’s a adventurer, stupid! Can’t you tell by his dirty clothes?”
“Maybe he’s just a beggar… Mother says don’t talk to them.”
“Your such a goodie goodie, Justine…”
Children’s voices. Doodle woke up, startled.
“Wh-wher- Oh yeah. Never mind. Ugh.” Memories of the day flashed back to him dreadingly.
“Hallo Mister.” Doodle looked up into the eyes of 5 expectant children. 1 girl and 3 boys, to be precise.
“Hello kids.” He always found it amusing how children always thought teenagers as adults.
“Are you a adventurer??”
“Well infact I am!”
“COOL!!” Doodle grinned. Praise was just what he needed.
“There’s a lady down there trapped in a cave, sir.” The girl spoke quietly.
“Hey, can I see your sword??!”
“Wait a second… What did you say, little lady?” Justine choose her words carefully.
“There’s a woman, just a ways down there-“ she pointed to the side- “Who is stuck in a cave. Its guarded by a monster, my Momm- Mother says.”
A lady? Guarded by a monster?? Dude, this is my chance!
“Well, you can expect her out very soon, dear!! Now, just point me in the direction of the weapon smith, if you would!!!”
Doodle had never ran so fast in his entire life.
“Oh Doodle, Doodle you saved me!! How can I ever repay you??” The servant girl laughed mockingly, stopping Doodle dead in his tracks. He blushed, quickly retaining his normal posture.
“Shut the hell up. AND DON’T CALL ME DOODLE!” Doodle was such a silly name. He hated it! Not in the least a name for a famous adventurer…
Jemby scowled. “The Mistress wants to know what you’d like for your birthday supper…Doodle!” she giggled.
“Don’t call me that, you ugly servant!”
“Well what ELSE am I supposed to call you?? Sir Fairy?” She didn’t even bother stifling her giggles.
“Oh shut up. Tell my mother that I would like… Chicken. Chicken and lots of breads.”
He would need bread to fill him on his adventure, and he happened to like chicken.
“Lots of breads, huh? Well whatever.”
The day went by pretty much the same. His older brothers gave him a hard time, his younger siblings annoyed him. Being stuck in the middle with 4 siblings on either side was never a good thing, although it had gotten better now that the older ones were gone away most of the time. Unfortunately, due to the occasion they were all here at the château to wish their dear brother a happy 18th birthday, as well as trip him and give him a few titty twisters.
“So, Doodle what exactly ARE you planning on doing with your life?” Asked his brother Jon at dinner. Jon himself ran his own printing business.
“Oh… I don’t know.” If he admitted what he REALLY wanted to do, well everyone would laugh at him!!
“You don’t KNOW? What, are you planning on living with Mum all your life?” Even his 5 year old brother Thomas giggled. But Doodle just grinned slyly. They would all find out soon enough.
“Actually, if it was alright with Mum, I’d love to!” Giggles arose, but they were nervous ones, as that hadn’t been the reaction anyone had expected. Angry, sure. I mean, it was no secret that Doodle was a total over sensitive jerk. But serious?
“Aren’t you planning on getting married, dear?” prompted his Mother. She certainly didn’t want him around the house all her life!
“Ha, yeah right. Who’d marry Doodle?” fat Derek took a stab at the meat, dragging it to his plate.
“Naw Mum. I’m not interested in that sort of thing.” His mother just gave him an odd look, and went quickly back to eating. The rest roared with laughter. Doodle didn’t care what they thought of him anymore. He’d be gone by morning.
After what seemed like an overly long dinner, he had snuck off with as much bread as possible, packing it into a bag. He couldn’t take much, he knew, as he would have to buy quite a lot of supplies next morning. He could hardly believe it… in just moments, he’d be out the window, out of this hell hole, and out into LIFE!!!
And so, with his mouth grinning wide, he opened his window, and made his way out into the night. He planned on making it to Athkatla by mid-day tomorrow, and hopefully to Crimmor by morning, if he traveled all night…
“Crimmor…. Finally…” It was 8 am, and Doodle had been up all night. Opening his weary eyes, he took a good look at the town.
“Hey mister,” he said to a man walking past, “I’m a *Adventurer* and I was wondering…. Where exactly is the weapon smith in your fair city, Crimmor??”
“My names not Crimmor. Its Joek.” He seemed annoyed.
“Alright JOEK, I was referring to the name of your *TOWN*, not you.” What a dolt.
“What are you talking about, boy? Crimmors up that way, North of Purskul. This here is Raykton.”
“WHAT??!! You gotta be kidding!”
“Didn’t you notice passing over the River Esmel? Pretty big bridge…”
“No… it was dark…”
“Well if I were you I’d be looking for the inn, not the Smithy.” And with that he turned to go on with his business, leaving Doodle to gawk in amazement. Dangit! How stupid could he- whoa! Look at THAT chick!!
Doodle almost swooned. What a babe! Doodle could hardly help himself.
“Hey honey. Ya need a hand from mister Doodle D. Fairy??”
“Yeah right. Get out of my way, you wuss-ass.”
“OOOhhhh tough one!!”
“You bet I am.”
“You wanna sho- OWWWWWwwwwwww!!! DAMN IT, WOMEN!!!” before Doodle could finish his one liner, he was down on his knees, clutching his groin in pain. He could only watch as the dame took off with his entire bag of supplies.
“That *WASN’T* what I was talking about, you…you…”
“Damn it.” He repeated, cuddling up to a nearby tree. Stupid biotch. Meh. He lay there, sulking. He had gone in the wrong direction. His feet were tired. HE was tiered. His nether regions were swollen, his supplies stolen, he had almost no money left… and he felt sick. Just sick. He was never going to make it as a adventurer- he might as well just go home now… but he was much too tired… *yawn* Stupid chick. Stupid adventuring…
“Hey you!!”
“Who are you?”
“He’s a adventurer, stupid! Can’t you tell by his dirty clothes?”
“Maybe he’s just a beggar… Mother says don’t talk to them.”
“Your such a goodie goodie, Justine…”
Children’s voices. Doodle woke up, startled.
“Wh-wher- Oh yeah. Never mind. Ugh.” Memories of the day flashed back to him dreadingly.
“Hallo Mister.” Doodle looked up into the eyes of 5 expectant children. 1 girl and 3 boys, to be precise.
“Hello kids.” He always found it amusing how children always thought teenagers as adults.
“Are you a adventurer??”
“Well infact I am!”
“COOL!!” Doodle grinned. Praise was just what he needed.
“There’s a lady down there trapped in a cave, sir.” The girl spoke quietly.
“Hey, can I see your sword??!”
“Wait a second… What did you say, little lady?” Justine choose her words carefully.
“There’s a woman, just a ways down there-“ she pointed to the side- “Who is stuck in a cave. Its guarded by a monster, my Momm- Mother says.”
A lady? Guarded by a monster?? Dude, this is my chance!
“Well, you can expect her out very soon, dear!! Now, just point me in the direction of the weapon smith, if you would!!!”
Doodle had never ran so fast in his entire life.