Post by Rune Walsh on Feb 11, 2004 13:13:42 GMT -5
Ugh. This world just disgusts me sometimes... The repition and "follow the leader" attitude just suck. This has more to do with just relationships, which is what this is mainly about...
I've found that there are way way too many "followers" in people I've met rather than "leaders". I'm one of the few "leaders" in my school/grade, and it's really sad. Everyone follows someone else's example. I.E.: the other day all the 'wiggers' dressed up all in pink because SOMEONE popular said "Pink is the color of pimps this year". Dude. You're a guy wearing pink, and you're a homophobe. First off, whenever another person like you wears pink, you call them a "fag" and label them as "gay". Now, because one of your own says "Oh, it's ok to wear pink, but only this year" you contradict EVERYTHING you fought about, and follow the leader. PATHETIC! Have a mind of your own!
Keeping that in mind, this theme has followed me throughout my high school career ever since it restarted last year, not only in that, but in relationships. The first trend setter was the first girl I ever fell in love with, Alicia. Now things were WONDERFUL with her, I was set. I had her, could go up and pick her up whenever I wanted, didn't have to deal with her 24/7 cuz it was a long distance relationship, it was great. I had time to myself, and yet I still had her devoted to me, and yes, I spent A LOT of time with her, online, on the phone, trying to keep her happy until the next time I came to get her. Everything seemed PERFECT. I FINALLY had a girl that was close THAT REALLY LOVED ME, had time to myself, I was set! I had everything, I was SO happy! Then it happened. Yeah, it. She started making a new friend in her vocational class. His name was Dan. Now, I didn't mind at all her having really close friends and all, I mean come on, everyone's gotta have good friends. Then her cousin told me she saw her kissing Dan. I asked her about it, and she fessed up, but it was a friendly kiss, so once again, I didn't mind. I'm really leinant(sp?) with my girlfriends and having friends usually, I mean, come on. There's a lot of people I give friendly kisses to. Then it finally happened.
Through Alicia, I met my brother, Gabe. Hehe... brother from another mother, we're both totally different races, but 100% similar. It's like uncanny. Anyway, he called me saying he had bad news... Alicia cheated on me fully. We got her on 3 way and, yeah. Stuff went down, and my heart was torn to peices.
Now the next girl I was with didn't do the same, and we have a good friendship now. She was Vikki. No need to go into that story.
Next I had Sara, a girl from Florida. I'm not going to go into detail, it was just a really unhealthy relationship as I was holding the whole thing together, and NEGLECTOR over there was having all the fun. She cheated on me with a guy named Sean. It ended promptly.
The latest... tore my soul apart, and left it on the road for it to be run over my many 16-wheelers.
Tiffany. I had been with her for over a year. We met on this forum at www.bolt.com and started a Yahoo Group for roleplaying. We RP'd with one another and fell for each other. Now this one, this one's the kicker. Halfway through our relationship Tiffany got a girlfriend. Now, hell, come on, you name me ONE GUY who DOESN'T want a two girl relationship, and I'll either show you a weirdo or a gay man.(no offence there, joking around making a point) And I was perfectly ok with that! It was cool! Hell, I loved it!
Then the next thing happened. "Hun, I need a (censored) buddy". You get the idea. So once again, my masochistic tendancy to put myself in a victimizing situation kicked in again, and I let it happen. David was the new initate to the family. He was nothing but annoying.
Now, this is the first girl whom I actually FLEW to see. My family and I payed $760.50 for the roundtrip ticket and $140 something for the hotel room. I stayed out there for a week. From NJ ALL THE WAY TO COLORADO I went ALL ALONE. BY MYSELF. WITH NO SUPERVISION. WITH NO SECURITY. BY MYSELF. It... it was the most traumatic week of my life.
Before I went I was told "Oh, David won't be here, he's gotta see family." That first night we went to this Itialian restruant for pizza (Dude, nothing compares to NJ pizza). Low and behold I was lied to, who was sitting there waiting for us to come? David.
Now... I know many of you here are in relationships, and maybe married. Now, you all know how much you love your loved one. How do you think it'd feel if you had to lie there, in THEIR bed, while THEY'RE on the floor, with ANOTHER PERSON... Moaning... and... *chokes*
Yeah. I think about that night every day. Luckily enough for me, Steph, Tiff's girlfriend, was in the bed with me, so I had someone to cry on and hold me. If it weren't for her, I'da came home and killed myself, straight out. I admit it. I would have.
But now... Now she's becoming distant even, and isin't even emailing me or getting online. I'm making all the effort and she's just sitting back enjoying my effort. I've taken a more strict policy with "friends" and "other things" with my relationships, but, I'm scared I'm going to lose Steph now, and since I'm pretty much already going to go to school out there, I'm going to wind up being alone... I don't want to be alone... I made the effort to get into a college out there so I could see her, and this college is perfect for what I'm going into... *sigh*
Someone kill me, or something... this pain isin't going to ever go away...
I've found that there are way way too many "followers" in people I've met rather than "leaders". I'm one of the few "leaders" in my school/grade, and it's really sad. Everyone follows someone else's example. I.E.: the other day all the 'wiggers' dressed up all in pink because SOMEONE popular said "Pink is the color of pimps this year". Dude. You're a guy wearing pink, and you're a homophobe. First off, whenever another person like you wears pink, you call them a "fag" and label them as "gay". Now, because one of your own says "Oh, it's ok to wear pink, but only this year" you contradict EVERYTHING you fought about, and follow the leader. PATHETIC! Have a mind of your own!
Keeping that in mind, this theme has followed me throughout my high school career ever since it restarted last year, not only in that, but in relationships. The first trend setter was the first girl I ever fell in love with, Alicia. Now things were WONDERFUL with her, I was set. I had her, could go up and pick her up whenever I wanted, didn't have to deal with her 24/7 cuz it was a long distance relationship, it was great. I had time to myself, and yet I still had her devoted to me, and yes, I spent A LOT of time with her, online, on the phone, trying to keep her happy until the next time I came to get her. Everything seemed PERFECT. I FINALLY had a girl that was close THAT REALLY LOVED ME, had time to myself, I was set! I had everything, I was SO happy! Then it happened. Yeah, it. She started making a new friend in her vocational class. His name was Dan. Now, I didn't mind at all her having really close friends and all, I mean come on, everyone's gotta have good friends. Then her cousin told me she saw her kissing Dan. I asked her about it, and she fessed up, but it was a friendly kiss, so once again, I didn't mind. I'm really leinant(sp?) with my girlfriends and having friends usually, I mean, come on. There's a lot of people I give friendly kisses to. Then it finally happened.
Through Alicia, I met my brother, Gabe. Hehe... brother from another mother, we're both totally different races, but 100% similar. It's like uncanny. Anyway, he called me saying he had bad news... Alicia cheated on me fully. We got her on 3 way and, yeah. Stuff went down, and my heart was torn to peices.
Now the next girl I was with didn't do the same, and we have a good friendship now. She was Vikki. No need to go into that story.
Next I had Sara, a girl from Florida. I'm not going to go into detail, it was just a really unhealthy relationship as I was holding the whole thing together, and NEGLECTOR over there was having all the fun. She cheated on me with a guy named Sean. It ended promptly.
The latest... tore my soul apart, and left it on the road for it to be run over my many 16-wheelers.
Tiffany. I had been with her for over a year. We met on this forum at www.bolt.com and started a Yahoo Group for roleplaying. We RP'd with one another and fell for each other. Now this one, this one's the kicker. Halfway through our relationship Tiffany got a girlfriend. Now, hell, come on, you name me ONE GUY who DOESN'T want a two girl relationship, and I'll either show you a weirdo or a gay man.(no offence there, joking around making a point) And I was perfectly ok with that! It was cool! Hell, I loved it!
Then the next thing happened. "Hun, I need a (censored) buddy". You get the idea. So once again, my masochistic tendancy to put myself in a victimizing situation kicked in again, and I let it happen. David was the new initate to the family. He was nothing but annoying.
Now, this is the first girl whom I actually FLEW to see. My family and I payed $760.50 for the roundtrip ticket and $140 something for the hotel room. I stayed out there for a week. From NJ ALL THE WAY TO COLORADO I went ALL ALONE. BY MYSELF. WITH NO SUPERVISION. WITH NO SECURITY. BY MYSELF. It... it was the most traumatic week of my life.
Before I went I was told "Oh, David won't be here, he's gotta see family." That first night we went to this Itialian restruant for pizza (Dude, nothing compares to NJ pizza). Low and behold I was lied to, who was sitting there waiting for us to come? David.
Now... I know many of you here are in relationships, and maybe married. Now, you all know how much you love your loved one. How do you think it'd feel if you had to lie there, in THEIR bed, while THEY'RE on the floor, with ANOTHER PERSON... Moaning... and... *chokes*
Yeah. I think about that night every day. Luckily enough for me, Steph, Tiff's girlfriend, was in the bed with me, so I had someone to cry on and hold me. If it weren't for her, I'da came home and killed myself, straight out. I admit it. I would have.
But now... Now she's becoming distant even, and isin't even emailing me or getting online. I'm making all the effort and she's just sitting back enjoying my effort. I've taken a more strict policy with "friends" and "other things" with my relationships, but, I'm scared I'm going to lose Steph now, and since I'm pretty much already going to go to school out there, I'm going to wind up being alone... I don't want to be alone... I made the effort to get into a college out there so I could see her, and this college is perfect for what I'm going into... *sigh*
Someone kill me, or something... this pain isin't going to ever go away...