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Post by Bloodyaftertaste on Jun 25, 2004 17:31:13 GMT -5
well this is kinda free verse, i usually spend more time on my stuff, fix it up a bit or whatnot
Lingers I'm binded to this place Cannot leave Cannot erase Memories around like still air I breathe it in The taste, it tears My insides out I can't walk about Cuz every step I take It awakes The demon that drags me down Pulls me under And as i drown I reach for your hand But it is just a faded memory And you have forgotten about me
:idn i think i remember torn being a free verse, i dont like doing them much, i dont think they are as good:
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Post by Chahiero on Jun 25, 2004 17:37:53 GMT -5
It's very good I think, it's harder for people used to rhyming to do free verse. :)
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Post by LadyWinterWolf on Jun 26, 2004 3:34:31 GMT -5
Excuse me you two, can I get some words in here edgewise.....sheesh....lovebirds.
Anyways....BAT, your poems are wonderful.....the images come right out and hit you in the brain. When you're feeling love or loved, it makes one sigh.....but the dark ones bring out the anger or fear.....great work!!!
Ok, now you two can go back to yacking - lol
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Post by Chahiero on Jun 26, 2004 12:26:08 GMT -5
Well it's not like many other people were talking LWW, lol.
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Post by Bloodyaftertaste on Jun 26, 2004 19:35:18 GMT -5
thx LWW its always nice to hear that ppl like my stuff, hehe, and it means a lot when it comes from fellow writers
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Post by Bloodyaftertaste on Jun 28, 2004 20:44:30 GMT -5
Rain Dry
Your aura is killing me To be around you It’s poisoning Your warming touch went away And now its acid on my skin
You thought you could hide it But I know you all to well I confronted the storm And lightening cracked on the ground where I stood
But it’s rained all it can The clouds have run dry Though it lingers in the air There is nothing left of these tears
I hid from the thunder I inverted back to a child’s state Covered myself in blankets Wishing for it to stop Blocking out the atmosphere
But I couldn’t hide any longer Pieces of me, swallowed in the storm Lost, but not forgotten Now I search for me again Knowing that I can never get back all of me
It’s rained all it can The clouds have run dry Though it lingers in the air There is nothing left of these tears
I’ll be all right someday Look in the sky for me When the clouds drift away from the moon That’s me smiling
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Post by Chahiero on Jun 28, 2004 21:10:56 GMT -5
I love your writing but this one is just beautiful Lynn, I especially like the last verse
I’ll be all right someday Look in the sky for me When the clouds drift away from the moon That’s me smiling
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Post by Bloodyaftertaste on Jun 28, 2004 21:37:31 GMT -5
thx :blushing:
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