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Post by Galadon on Oct 30, 2003 16:43:12 GMT -5
I go by old fashion rules, even if alot of people have no clue or choose to ignore them. If I didn't ask you directly if you would like to go to dinner, drinks, and so on. I'm not paying for it. If I'm sitting at a table alone, and someone comes up and ask if they could sit, that's fine if you just come and sit, expect rude behavior. I am different from alot of men. I have taken many women out, without expecting sex at the end of the night. If I open a door for you the polite thing is to at least offer to do the same. this goes for buying dinners and other things. I expect this but do I think it's going to happen, not really. but when it does happen it nice.
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Post by Ahnemesis on Oct 30, 2003 17:25:43 GMT -5
...Are you taken Galadon? ( just kidding )
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Post by Galadon on Oct 30, 2003 17:36:42 GMT -5
DOH, So close, yet so far. [glow=red,2,300]he he he , like you had a chance[/glow]
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Post by Hussar on Oct 30, 2003 23:32:50 GMT -5
Ah, BRO, my point is this. If I choose to do things like that, then there is no problem. The problem comes when women EXPECT me to do those things, and get annoyed if I don't and then get annoyed that they are not being treated as equals in all things. Well, if a person EXPECTs someone to open doors, pick up the tab, whatever, then that someone has put themselves in a position where they are not equal. Don't expect to have it both ways.
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Post by EK - Shadow of Death on Oct 31, 2003 0:58:20 GMT -5
The Dark Knight prefers buddhist doctrine. Empty yourself of emotion. Empty yourself of wants. Then fill yourself with the world's burdens and attempt to make it the same as yourself. Compassion is the ruling key, however.
I'll hold open doors for anyone (guys or girls). Sometimes my Western upbringing will kick in a bit and I'll nod/bow if its a girl. I'll help anyone whenever reasonable, and will do it to my utmost in the times I do help. I'll always lend an open ear, pay half the tab (its only fair), and attempt to equalize while still showing compassion to my fellow human being. Naturally, I expect nothing from others, so any point of compassion from another deserves at least a thank you.
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Post by Ahnemesis on Oct 31, 2003 10:47:17 GMT -5
Well said EK.
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Post by Black Robed One on Oct 31, 2003 13:02:37 GMT -5
Ah, BRO, my point is this. If I choose to do things like that, then there is no problem. The problem comes when women EXPECT me to do those things, and get annoyed if I don't and then get annoyed that they are not being treated as equals in all things. Well, if a person EXPECTs someone to open doors, pick up the tab, whatever, then that someone has put themselves in a position where they are not equal. Don't expect to have it both ways. Sorry for misunderstanding your point, Hussar. Now I understand you better. And I also understand, why you are angry about it. I have never been EXPECTED to act like gentleman, in fact, in my country few women expect men to act like gentlemen, and even fewer men act like gentlemen. Truth to tell, I am not sure, how I would feel, if I would EXPECTED to act like gentleman. Probably, I wouldn't notice it, as I try to act as politely and as gentlemanly as I can anyway. But probably, I would notice it, and perheps it would make me angry a bit, though I doubt it. Anyway, now I understand your point, Hussar, and I am sorry for misunderstanding it at first.
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Post by Black Robed One on Oct 31, 2003 13:05:32 GMT -5
By the way, Eldritch Knight, I must say that I too have habbit of nodding or bowing slightly, when I am greeting people, or when I am saying goodbye. I don't really know how did I accuire this habbit, but I guess, that I just read too many fanatsy books and played too much RPG, so this habbit came from that direction.
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Post by Ahnemesis on Oct 31, 2003 14:24:03 GMT -5
In this day and time, a well placed nod can go a long way. Just as much as a smile can. So many people do not smile anymore. And I do. When I make eye contact with someone and they're not smiling it's like a challenge to me to see if I can get them to smile. Don't go out of my way to do so...but, don't give me that look either. The one that says, humor, just below the surface. Scratch it just a little and they smile. Makes my day!
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Post by Darkwalker on Oct 31, 2003 21:50:18 GMT -5
I admit that I am not perfect, but I try to be a gentleman when I can........chivalry seems to go hand in hand with it. I try to uphold ideas that seem out of place and old-fashioned.......usually it gets me either excluded or i convince people that i am a total freak and outta be locked away in the looney bin.
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Post by LadyWinterWolf on Oct 31, 2003 22:11:02 GMT -5
Seems sometimes that we've just forgotten how to be "nice". Like holding the door open for someone...how many times I've held a door, and the next person just walks through....period.
So I just say to them, "You're welcome", and most of the time, not always, they'll stop and it dawns on them what I just said, and they smile back and say "Thank you".
I don't know about wherever everyone else lives, but in my area, lots of people walk for exercise, recreation, and it is not unusual for each person to just smile and say "hi" to a fellow walker. One in awhile a person doesn't respond, oh well, but when you see the same person over and over, after some time....they get the idea of it, and start smiling and saying "hi" back.
It doesn't take a big effort to be nice, kind, whatever you want to call it......and I believe maybe people are forgetting that?
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Post by Galadon on Nov 1, 2003 12:33:26 GMT -5
I was thinking, was the word expected the wrong word, no. I give everyone the same level, a civil person, and then wait and see if the are or not.
I basically like to walk down the street talk to no one acknowledge no one, just go about my day. But I like it if someone smile at me or holds the door open.
Well I can't have it both ways, So I remind my self to say thank you, excuse me and so fore. Even if I don't want to do it. I will help out people if possible.
All right there was something else in my brain but I lost it. Well when I find later.
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Post by Agent Regina on Nov 3, 2003 4:19:47 GMT -5
If you haven't all noticed, you treat the word and actions of chivalry to be; opening doors, picking up the check etc etc. But think about it, it doesn't always have to be like that. I suppose in this day and age, chivalry is more than that.
I believe that just being sweet and kind is more than enough. Consideration and kindness towards eachother regardless of gender, is the more dominant form of chivalry that should exist today.
I have had my fair share of ignorant pigs to deal with, example I have been treated rather poorly by many friends (usually they are just using me to help them with studies etc.) and they have been both male and female. What I am getting at here is that we can all be terrible from time to time, it's human nature, but if you are able to be kind and considerate most of the time then it's quite an achievement. Chivalry is something which is a reflection of a person, their attitude towards others, and if they are kind and caring then in my opinion they have some chivalry within them.
I believe it does exist in those that strive to make people happy and not have a negative attitude to passers by, yes I do admit that holding open a door or helping out here and there is a rather charming act and very appreciated but why not do it all the time? Wouldn't we all feel much better, that split second of satisfaction that you've helped someone or cheered them up? And also the person you would have helped would feel a split second of "thanks" and reassurance that not everyone is as awfull as we perseive them to be.
Perhaps I'm just too sentimental or I'm just too affectionate, but those are some of my views. Heck they may not be right and they may not please all of you but for those that do believe chivalry exists I hope that my view has shed a little light on the situation.
An individual can do anything it is able to, taking time to help oneanother is something that is capeable of anyone male or female.
Perhaps the chivalry we think of eg laying clothes over puddles etc, is to be reserved only for those we hold very dear to our hearts.
I do apologise, I've wrote a lot again haven't I?!
By the way; *Big kiss to BRO* You are a true gentleman, no matter what anyone else says. You always say you have flaws, but don't we all? I have my fair shares and yes, I am worrying that you'll hate me for it. (there you go, that one of my flaws; worrying to the point of being annoying.) But I love you for who you are, and I always will. Regina xxx
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Post by EK - Shadow of Death on Nov 3, 2003 8:39:51 GMT -5
I'd like to take a stab at condensing what lbd just wrote (correct me if I'm wrong):
Chivalry is about showing that despite the hardships of our world, the best parts of our humanity still exist and thrive.
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Post by Little Blue Dragon on Nov 3, 2003 10:35:30 GMT -5
sweetie i wrote nothing but i will say something.
IMHO: Chivalry is in the eye of the beholder. what i consider a chivalrous act some one else may not. It comes in different forms it could be an action or a few spoken words. It does exist some have just lost faith in it.
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